Dear Readers,
Please complete the following sentence. Choose the best answer.
Josh has had ENOUGH when...
a.) he locks himself out of his apartment building 20 minutes before he needs to leave for the airport. None of his neighbors are home to buzz him in. None of his friends that have keys are in town. And the only option is to call the super, jump in a cab to Chelsea, pick up the key and race back downtown.
b.) the rain returns, traffic stalls to JFK, and what normally takes 45 minutes takes two hours.
c.) security is a nightmare, and flight is delayed an hour.
d.) after boarding, door closes and we push back from the gate, he waits two more hours before taking off.
e.) he gets weirded out that the flight attendants on Finn Air all wear black leather gloves during the flight. He eats his meal, watches a few TV programs and sleeps the rest of the way knowing that he's likely going to miss his connection in Helsinki, Finland.
f.) he arrives in Helsinki and is told he'll be going to Stockholm, Sweden for the afternoon to make a connection to Moscow, Russia. At this point, Josh notes he is going to miss the start of his event. (Consider this: Josh was within one hour of Moscow by air. Flying to Stockholm put him two hours in the opposite direction, requiring now a three hour flight to Moscow.)
g.) arrives in Sweden. Notes the beautiful airport, and how no one seems to be there except the people from his flight. Josh is concerned about his luggage because he just learned mid-air that they switched airlines and has no baggage claim tickets. He wonders if he should claim his bags in Stockholm. He would like to ask someone. But there is no one there. Really. Finally, he finds three people who are honestly the nicest airline employees he's ever met, but they have no fucking idea. (Excuse my language. It was necessary.)
h.) he goes through passport control, checks baggage claim just to be sure, and then has to check-in again. Please note he met five more airline employees, who had no idea, but they were nice. He waits in line. Patiently at first.
i.) he explains his story to another nice lady who picks up the phone and makes three calls. The first lasted about 10 minutes. "Please don't worry," she said. Next call - at least 12 minutes. Josh got a little huffy because his flight was approaching soon, and the other lady said I had 15 minutes to make it to the gate. When the lady her Josh puff, she said, "Please be patient." Josh tried. The lady made another call, then she said to Josh "Now, I'm getting very stressed. I am worried." A few more minutes passed and she said to Josh "You should go to the gate. You are going to miss your flight."
j.) he raced back through passport control, through security, up a flight of stairs, and made it to his seat, right behind three Euro trash teens that were obnoxious the entire flight.
k.) he arrived in Moscow and didn't see his baggage. He did the necessary steps to file a claim, and told the lady he wanted to check one last time. From a distance he could see his buddy Sam So Nite. There might have been a tear in Josh's eye. Maybe. Probably.
l.) the trip from the airport took over an hour and put him arriving in the smokey lobby of the hotel just as all of the guests for the event were leaving.
m.) ALL OF THE ABOVE.
Now Josh is going to order room service, shower, and watch some teevee.