A friend from college is coming to New York soon on a business trip. She confessed this morning that she's scared to take a taxi from LaGuardia. I told her it's easy and offered her this step-by-step guide.
1.) Once you claim your bag, go outside to the taxi stand. There's a valet who will hand you a piece of paper that is not important. I don't know why they do this or what the paper says.
2.) Get in the back seat. ;-)
3) Relax.
4.) Say this: "Hilton in Times Square on 42nd between 7th & 8th Avenues." That's it. Nothing more. If he doesn't know where Times Square is, get out.
5.) If asked which way you want to go, just say the fastest.
6.) You can talk to the driver if you want. Don't feel obligated. He's probably talking on his phone to his family in Bangladesh.
7.) There's a little TV in back. You can turn that damn thing off if it annoys you.
8.) Pretty soon the skyline will appear. You'll cross the East River by bridge or tunnel and then you'll be in Manhattan. You were just in Queens, FYI.
9.) It won't take long to reach Times Square, which is a complete cluster$@%^. Just being honest! Better to know now!
10.) Pay the man. Get out. Go inside the hotel. Check in. Have a drink.