Normally, breakfast is simple. Most days, it's a protein shake. Some days, yogurt. Simple. Fast. Minimal mess.
This morning, however, I woke up hungry. (I think the tapeworm is back.) I couldn't get out of bed fast enough. The bread went into the toaster. The coffee brewed. And I went for the eggs. I scrambled them and put them in the skillet.
Now, here's where it gets interesting.
The bread went from fresh to charred in an instant, and the most potent cloud of smoke erupted out of that little machine. The smoke detector sounded. I went to shut that off, and the eggs burned. Isn't the smell of burnt eggs the worst thing ever?
I cleaned up that mess, and the smoke detector went off again. Nice. I hope my neighbors were ready to wake up.
I got dressed, and I got the hell out of there.
I'm keeping it simple from now on. Could I just get a feeding tube?