Holy $^*!

(Note: Originally this entry was going to be devoted to my last conversation with Mahadeeb about his life and his children, but given recent developments, Mahadeeb will be brought back in a future posting.)

Now.

A few days ago I read two phrases that I found to be somewhat powerful. Pretty descriptive, in fact. I don't expect that they'll ever be etched in marble or shared at a commencement address or that anyone besides me thinks they are funny.

* "It's hotter than fish grease in here." -- NeNe Leakes via Twitter

* "I'm sweatin' like a glass of ice water in August." -- The Help

Together these two lines perfectly describe my one hour flight from Bangalore to Hyderabad. M-I-S-E-R-A-B-L-E.

The flight attendant said to the passenger in front of me "This is a no frills airline."

No joke lady.

But it was safe and that's all that matters.

Brashir from the hotel was there to meet me. Nice guy. He enjoyed telling me a lot of statistics about Hyderabad that I can't remember now. But according to him, this place is better than Bangalore. We shall see.

Now reader, I need you to imagine the hilliest, curviest road you've ever been on. Now imagine going just a little faster than you should. That's how Brashir was driving the big ole BMW through the streets packed with people, tuk tuks, and motorcycles. We topped this hill, and I looked out the front and there were six or eight, maybe 10, of the biggest blackest cows I've ever seen. And I've seen a few. They were right there. Walking down the middle of the street.

"Holy Shit!" I said. Brashir never slowed down. He didn't react. The cows scattered. Brashir stayed steady.

"First time to India, Sir?" Brashir said.

"Yes," I said.

"In India, you have to be ready for anything, sir," he said.

I scrambled to get my camera, but this lazy one is all I got:

Okay, Brashir. I'm ready.