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Shopping Day!

Last night I met up with some colleagues who recommended today be shopping day for me. I thought it would be fun. I've shopped in Africa and Asia before, and I'm confident in saying some of you got some pretty nice stuff. I made a list of people to buy for, and had my cash ready. I expected to bring home a cart full.

Those folks didn't offer to go along, and now I know why -- This place is one helluva mess.

My day started with an argument with a tuk tuk driver. The concierge at the hotel told me it would cost 40 Rupees to get to the Bombay store on Mahatma Ghandi Road. He negotiated with the driver, and I got in. I asked the driver again how much, and he said 500 Rupees. I argued, and he said 275, and I got out and he started shouting at me. And I shouted back. Told him 40. And he said okay - 50. I got back in, and he pulled away. Then he said 100, and I threatened to get out again. "No, sir! Please!" he said. And we fussed and yelled at each other while he was driving.

Then I realized I was yelling at him over 2 bucks, and I shut up so he could drive.

We zipped past the store, and I asked him to stop. About 5 blocks later, he pulled that tuk tuk over. I got out, gave him 100 Rupees, and was immediately swarmed by this kid selling Ray Bans. He followed me, touching me, pulling on my arm, and he was persistant, relentless, but I didn't cave.

You have to realize the sidewalks are torn to hell. Mud puddles. Running water. (I hope it's water.) Out of the corner of my eye I see tuk tuk driver trailing me. "Sir please sit," he calls out. "Sir. Please sit." I ignored him.

I made it to the store. I saw nothing. I mean how many people need a table runner? I don't understand table runners.

Tuk Tuk driver eventually came into the store to make sure he could drive me to the next location. And I decided I had lose this dude. Who wants to fight on a Sunday morning?

So when I saw him talking to one of the workers, I made a run for it. I got about half way down the block and I heard "sir sir sir!!!!" The locals are looking at him, looking at me, and I just kept my head down and kept on walking like I knew where I was going. He gave up.

The farther I walked down that street, the more I saw. I went in a few shops, but I ended up yelling at storekeepers because they were so pushy. I honestly didn't want anything they had to sell.

I'd like you to know there's also a KFC, Pizza Inn, Levi Store as well as Nike and Adidas. What? Why? I can't imagine the thought of trying on a pair of jeans here.

The things that struck me most - the women and children and the stray dogs with mange roaming the streets. One lady with a baby in her arms followed me - touching me - begging me for money for her baby. Another filthy barefooted little boy tugged at my pants leg for money.

Several friends in New York warned me that if I gave to one, I'd be swarmed by them all. I didn't give them any money, and that was hard. As I walked that street, I thought about the United States. For all of the bickering we hear between the Democrats and the Republicans, for the most part, we are fortunate beyond belief.

Those same friends that recommended shopping also said that I should get a massage at the Taj Residency, and lucky for me I wound up right in front of the hotel.

So the bottom line - Y'all didn't get any gifts - at least not today. But I got a massage right after I finished breakfast by this beautiful pool.

And isn't it strange to think right on the other side of that wall is a completely different world? Like everyone else behind that wall, I felt safe and what was out there didn't exist for a couple of hours.

Something to think about.

Holy $^*!

The Saturday Evening Post - Bangalore Bureau